How freeing it feels to finally know that I am a valuable human being. In my last relationship I had no purpose in life and I was literally just there - along for the ride. My self worth was minimal and my coping skills were terrible. Any issue put me into fight or flight mode and lead me to be reactive as opposed to productive. Clearly not the traits of someone ready for a healthy, conscious relationship. I spent a year diving deep, trying to understand my triggers. With continued self work; I feel more than equipped to open myself up to My One.
Below are a few sure signs that have made me feel ready to love again..
1. You are Not Desperately Seeking Love
You genuinely enjoy your solitude. You aren't beating yourself up because you're not out there on several dates, playing the field. You know that you are worthy of love and that it will come when the Universe sends it. I was in a situation recently where I met someone so amazing and pretty much perfect on paper. Unfortunately there was something missing. I couldn't quite put my finger on it; but at the end of the day, he didn't feel like My One. After his anger subsided, he was able to respect my decision to be true to myself and end the romantic aspect of our relationship. There is no need to rush or force something that is supposed to last our entire lifetime.
2. You are Open to Someone Who is Aligned With Your Desires and Goals
Now we know you aren't desperately seeking; but you're definitely not closed off. Opening yourself to others and allowing them to see your loving energy is very important. I used to think that I had to look like a bitch 24/7 to be taken seriously by men. lol My how times have changed. I have created a space to allow my feminine energy to shine through. My days are spent smiling and locking eyes with men and women because people need these positive vibes. Don't be so quick to reject someone who approaches you. You never know what role synchronicity will play in your day.
If you've spent ample time alone figuring out what your true desires are, then you will have an easier time deciding who you should be spending your time with. I have been very specific with the Universe by visualizing what type of relationship I want, everyday. Self development, good health practices and an abundant mindset are three things that I would love for My One to hold high. In terms of personality traits, I am calling in someone who is funny, quick witted, encouraging, inspiring and someone who not only dreams- but takes action towards their goals. Some would call this picky but I believe in being very specific. It is my life after all.
3. You Have Learned Your Relationship Deal Breakers From Your Past Experiences
This is huge you guys. A lot of people are still uncertain about what they want. In my opinion, it is even more vital to be sure of what you don't want. There was a very long period of time where I knew I was not being valued by someone. If I was in an uncomfortable situation, I would scream and cry like a baby in hopes that I could make the person I was dealing with change it. When you know what you don't want and refuse to settle for less, it's so much easier to walk away. I am personally not comfortable with someone who has a bunch of friends of the opposite sex. I am especially not cool with the man I involve myself with to think it's ok to have sleepovers with them. Some may call me insecure and unreasonable; but these are MY deal breakers, not yours :)
4. You Actually Beleive in Everlasting Love, Despite the Influence Society Has on Our Generation
In the past, I carried the belief that all men were dogs. Whatever belief you send out vibrationally, is the energy you will receive. With that being said, I was surrounded by nothing but dogs for many years! Unfortunately I was conditioned with this mindset from childhood. My father was not a great example of the type of man I would choose for myself. He was abusive, insecure and cheated on every woman he was with. I still have run in's with my 'daddy issues" and find it hard to trust sometimes. I will say, being fully aware of this has helped me become more inclined to snap out of my old conditioning quicker.
PS. Stop allowing shows like, "Love and Hip Hop" alter your perspective. Love should not be full of drama and pure bullshit. I say this because I've heard people claim that their situation is so relatable to characters on this SHOW. This actually saddens me. Nobody should ever have to share someone or be in a partnership based off of superficial reasons. This is not true, authentic love.
5. You are Fully Aware That Your Life Together Will Not be a Picture Perfect Instagram Photo. Successful Relationships Require a lot of Work
Be ready to give, and not just take. Prepare yourself to constantly compromise. Find ways to meet in the middle without compromising your unselfish needs. Love is about letting your significant other live, and then coexisting. This becomes easier after spending time alone. There's a lesser chance of becoming codependent once you have felt true independence and enjoy it.
6. Vulnerability & Trust is Key!
This can be such a terrifying concept for some. My old self totally relates to the fear of not being able to be fully vulnerable with another. You are trusting that other person with your most gentle, fragile side of yourself. When we put our trust in people it's almost like we create a Universal law that they can't cross us or do us wrong. If they do, we feel we won't be strong enough to get through it. We go into victim mentality and forget that the relationship we have with ourselves is the most important relationship. Don't set yourself up for defeat, but always keep in mind that you can get through any disappointment. Trust yourself enough to trust others.
I am ready to share my full self with My One. The good, the bad and the ugly. Are you ready to be completely transparent with another being?